Techniques for Controlling Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts and unhealthy fantasies can weigh heavily on your mind, affect your mood and lead to harmful or illegal behaviour, whether online or offline. Learning effective techniques to manage these patterns of thinking is crucial. In this article, we explore practical strategies to reframe unhealthy thoughts, break negative cycles, and promote mental resilience. By implementing these approaches, you can regain control over your inner dialogue and cultivate a healthier mindset.

Reframing​

This is a way of talking to yourself that you practice beforehand. It can help you change your thoughts by taking a specific action. You can use it when you have sexual thoughts. For example, you might think, “That girl is pretty, but I’m not going to look at her as a sexual object because I’m a responsible adult.” Or, if you’re feeling like you can’t do something, you might say to yourself, “I have many skills and I can do this.”

Thought-Stopping

Some people find it useful to combine techniques like thought-stopping with a physical prompt that can distract attention or serve as a reminder to practice self-control strategies. Examples include: a loose elastic band around the wrist which can be snapped; wearing a wrist watch on the opposite arm to where it is usually worn; clapping hands together and telling yourself, ‘’Stop.”

Channel Hopping / Channel Changing / Lane Changing

This technique is related to thought-stopping. This is basically the concept that once a certain thought occurs in the mind, we have the power to “change the channel” and think of something else. This is good for intrusive ‘flit’ thoughts.

Blockers

Some people effectively associate negative thoughts or abusive sexual fantasies with strongly negative images. For instance, they might imagine a cell door slamming shut, think about being arrested, or hear a judge pronouncing a sentence.

Replacement

When someone experiences a negative thought or an abusive fantasy, they can replace it with a positive, feel-good fantasy. They combine this with a self-praise statement when it works successfully. It’s helpful to mentally practice this technique a few times.

Urge-Surfing

Imagine negative thoughts or fantasies as waves that build to a peak and then fade away. The goal is to resist acting on the urge and wait for it to subside. It is important to stay safe while waiting for it to pass. Afterward, give yourself positive reinforcement for successfully riding out the urge without acting on it. Remember that all urges eventually pass—this encourages hope and reinforces the idea that negative thoughts are temporary. So, praise yourself when you’ve ‘ridden the wave out’.

Fast Forward

Imagine this scenario: You recognize the potential for a negative thought. Now, fast forward to a positive conversation with your friend. In that conversation, you talk about how you coped effectively with the situation and put an end to the negative fantasy.

Escape Route

When you experience an abusive sexual fantasy, physically remove yourself from the situation where those negative thoughts are occurring. For example:

If you’re in bed alone, get out of bed.
If you’re on a crowded bus, get off the bus or move to a safe area.
If you’re sitting at the computer, leave the computer.
Taking these actions can help you distance yourself from harmful thoughts and create a safer mental space.

Distraction and Re-focussing

When you have a troubling thought, take proactive steps to distract yourself. Engage in an activity that fully captures your attention and shifts your focus away from the thought. For example:

Call a friend and have a conversation.
Cook a meal and immerse yourself in the process.
Do household chores to keep your mind occupied.
These actions can help break the cycle of negative thinking and provide relief.

Tell a Safe Person

When you experience a troubling fantasy, reach out to someone who can offer immediate support. This could be a relative, friend, or a professional. You can even call organisations like the Samaritans to help ‘defuse’ the intensity of the fantasy.

Talk-down Tapes

When you have troubling thoughts, listen to your own pre-recorded voice guiding you through positive self-talk to distance yourself from harmful fantasies.

Coping Cards

Use pre-prepared, wallet-sized cards to carry with you at all times. These cards should contain words or images that are personally meaningful but not sexually explicit. The meanings on the cards relate to either approach or avoidance goals. The cards may have an automatic thought on one side and an adaptive response on the other side. Depending on the situation, these cards can be kept in a safe place, such as a desk drawer at work, if carrying them in a wallet is less practical. It’s helpful to refer to these cards several times each day.

Relaxation Techniques

The individual experiencing the fantasy proactively uses a relaxation technique that works for them. This should be planned and practiced in advance. Techniques include guided visualisation, progressive tensing and relaxing of muscle groups, deep breathing, and tuning into the heartbeat. It’s impossible to feel both relaxed and tense at the same time. Relaxation techniques can effectively reduce tension, whether physical or emotional, which often precedes a ‘trigger’ mood state.

In the intricate landscape of our minds, negative thoughts and unhealthy fantasies can cast shadows that hinder our well-being. However, armed with practical strategies, we can reclaim control over our inner dialogue. Remember:

  • Awareness Matters: Recognise when negative patterns emerge. Awareness is the first step toward change.
  • Reframe and Redirect: Challenge distorted thoughts. Replace them with constructive alternatives. Redirect your mental energy toward positive outcomes.
  • Embrace Self-Compassion: Treat yourself kindly. Understand that everyone experiences intrusive thoughts. You’re not alone.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Ground yourself in the present moment. Observe thoughts without judgment. Let them pass like clouds in the sky.
  • Seek Support: Share your struggles with trusted friends, family, or professionals. Their perspective can illuminate new paths.
    Remember, resilience isn’t about avoiding negative thoughts altogether; it’s about navigating them skillfully. As you implement these techniques, may your mental landscape flourish with hope, strength, and possibility.